Other titles I considered for this blog include:
"Walmart, My Life is in Your Hands"
"And the Idiot of the Year Award goes to…"
"Why I'm never going to let my sister talk me into anything again"
"Lifetime Achievement Award for Hardiness"
"Come hiking with us, it's fun!"
It was a bright fall morning last Saturday, as we woke up in our cozy sleeping bags and unzipped the tent to a view of the red rocks of Zion National Park, Utah.
Breakfasting on oatmeal and cocoa and getting ready for our hike down Orderville Canyon into the Zion Narrows, little did we know what was in store for us in the day ahead.
Jeff, Jennie and I drove for about an hour out of the park to the start of the hike, where to our dismay we discovered it was 38 degrees outside! Clothed in shorts and, luckily, fleece jackets and beanies, we started down the trail, passing a sign that said something about danger and flash flooding, but who cares about that? We certainly didn't! It was so cold, I felt like I should have been skiing somewhere, instead of heading down a trail to who knows where in my summer hiking outfit.
A mile or so later we reached the drop into the canyon, and descended quickly to the river bed. By this time I had put on Jeff's biking leggings, so I was warmer, if not fashionable.
It was warmer down in the canyon too, and beautiful, with the striped sandstone walls towering above, and lots of trees displaying red, yellow, and orange leaves of autumn.
A few miles later we hit the first obstruction, a large boulder wedged in the middle of the trail between the canyon walls, with a 15-20 foot drop on the other side, and no way to climb down. There are bolts anchored in the rock face, if one is smart enough to bring a rope. Luckily we got there just as 3 guys were getting ready to climb down with a rope they had bought at Walmart. They offered to help us down and I'm sure we looked like a bunch of idiots who had no idea what they were getting into. They had a harness and a belt so at least they knew what they were doing. Right about this time it began to snow a little bit. Fun. As I attempted to climb down, i.e. slid down the rock wall on my elbow, it was only the Walmart rope that kept me from plunging to my death, or more realistically, a broken ankle.
The strangers were so encouraging, saying "good job, you're almost there" and other positive things, despite our obvious ineptitude at climbing. I felt like I was on The Amazing Race! This episode should have been our first clue to turn back, but once we were down the rock, there was no way back up. We had crossed the Point of No Return. At least it had stopped snowing.
After a while, the canyon floor began to get muddy, and it started raining on and off, and we reached the point where we had to start actually walking through water.
We came to another spot where we had to climb down a rock, this time without the help of the Walmart rope. Fortunately this one wasn't as difficult, though it did involve jumping into a few feet of water at the bottom.
Soon we entered a more narrow section of the canyon - at first the river was only knee deep, then later on the water went up to our hips, and still later we were in it up to our waists. It was really cold!
It started raining again so Jeff suggested we hurry in case there was a flash flood. Fun. About this time is when I started thinking about how we're a bunch of idiots, what are we doing? For the next hour we traveled down the canyon, in the river, and at times we were actually swimming because we couldn't touch the bottom. These were the worst parts because it was so cold, it was hard to make my arms and legs move; my fingers and toes got numb and stayed that way for the next several hours. Along with the joy of swimming in limb-numbing water, we got to climb down waterfalls and jump from the rocks in the water below.
One time the jump was so far that Jennie went all the way under the water and her hat came off, and I went under at least over my eyes; I think the top of my head stayed out. Also, here is where Jennie lost her trekking poles to the river and Jeff got hit in the head with a rock as he was falling into the water (fortunately he was okay).
When we weren't actually in the water, we were still soaking wet and so cold, we were rushing as fast as we could go to get done. At one point I looked down and there was snow on my sleeves again. The canyon we were in was really pretty but at the time we didn't even have the desire to take the time to enjoy it, let alone stop and take pictures. The last time we had to go all the way in the water, I could barely make myself do it, knowing how cold it would be. But I managed to stem the impending panic attack and press on, praying we would make it out.
Then, I saw a person ahead, coming the other direction! I knew we wouldn't die freezing and unremarked in Orderville Canyon! Pretty soon we passed more people, and eventually came to the spot where the canyon emptied out into the Virgin River and the Zion Narrows (which, ironically, is wider than the canyon we were in). We still had a couple miles to go, but this was a piece of cake – we only had to wade in water up to our knees!
We were all still cold and half-numb so we tried to go as fast as possible. I'm sure we were quite a sight to the people we passed, bedraggled and dripping wet from head to toe.
They looked so warm and happy, I hated them! Not really, but I could think of nothing else but getting to the shuttle to take us back to the campground so I could get dry and, eventually, warm. Well, as you know, since I survived to write this, we made it out, counting our blessings along with our scrapes and bruises. Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition!
Final tally:
Abrasions - left leg 4, right knee 4, left elbow 1
Bruises - right knee 3, left knee 7
Sore muscles - 850
Missing fingers/toes/limbs - 0
Missing trekking poles - 2
Blessings - 832993
Whew. I made it. And 6 minutes faster than last time! Thanks, mom and dad and Jackie and Marc, for coming down to cheer me on. And Jackie, I owe you big time for dragging me along on miles 18-24...I couldn't have done it without you! Here we are, running at our blistering pace...!
I am thinking about running another one to try to hit the 3:40 mark. Maybe the Long Beach Marathon on Oct. 12th . But then I think about all that training and it makes me tired. ugh. Anyone want to join me? Or give me some tips? Or come cheer me on? Or talk some sense into me? 
As we were finishing up, it started to snow a little bit, but we weren't alarmed, we're hardy! Since I didn't really bring any clothing for 30 degree temperatures, I thought I'd just wear my fleece pajama pants underneath my zip-off hiking pants, and 3 fleece jackets! What a great idea! We decided to drive to Hume Lake, so Jennie, who is training for a marathon, could run 12 miles by running around the lake four times. I walked around it, but only once. Then I sat next to it and read a novel, until she finished. What a great vacation I was having!
After a picnic lunch and some french vanilla capuccinos, we drove down to the bottom of Kings Canyon for a hike. By then it was raining, so we decided it was the perfect time for a nap in the car. (I guess the 11 hours of sleep we got just wasn't enough!) We woke up, refreshed and energized for a hike, so I threw on my yellow raincoat and started up the trail!
I soon discovered to my dismay that I was wearing too much clothing, and an inappropriate amount of fleece at that (still wearing the aforementioned fleece pants and three fleece jackets, in addition to the rubber raincoat). Pretty soon I was wearing one fleece jacket and had two fleece jackets tied around my waist, and with my camera around my neck, I was defintely looking a little bit bigger than normal.
Our hike to a "overlook" was somewhat ruined by the fact that as we climbed up the mountain, we ascended into a blanket of fog, thus rendering any overlook an overlook of nothing.
To make matters worse, on the way back down the mountain, hastening from switchback to switchback, I somehow managed to twist my ankle. So then I was limping from switchback to switchback. That did not stop me from contemplating the beauty of nature however, since I am hardy! 
Looking forward to our dinner of hot dogs roasted over an open fire, the anticipation was somewhat lessened as we discussed our dinner options of cooking in the rain. We settled on making quesadillas on our camping stove, and then eventually going out for pizza! This is what I love about National Parks - you are never far from civilization and amenities!
The next morning we woke up, all warm and toasty in our tent, and waited for the rain to stop. But it never stopped, and when hunger finally stirred us from our sleeping bags, we discovered not rain but snow! 
"Oh no!" we said.
So much for pancakes, we ate a breakfast of fig newtons and peaches while standing under the opened back hatch of the car and contemplated a day of hiking through the snow and/or rain with one of us injured and coming back to no campfire that night or hot chocolate the next morning and possibly being snowed into our campground, which, by the way, has no paved roads, or roads at all for that matter.
So...Jeff and I took this trip to the Havasupai Indian Reservation (south of the Grand Canyon) during my spring break, which now seems like a really long time ago, but I thought I'd post some pics anyway. After picking him up at the Vegas airport, we drove to the trailhead and camped there for a night. The next morning, we backpacked about 10 miles in, and then we hung out down by the Havasu River for 2 days, and then hiked back out and drove back to Vegas to see Spamalot. I totally recommend this hike to anyone who loves beautiful waterfalls and lots of boyscouts (and who doesn't love both of those things?).
Going through the scary tunnel to get to Mooney Falls was well worth it. But even if you don't like this sort of outdoorsy thing, you should at least go to Vegas to see Spamalot - it's no Wicked, but it's clever and hilarious and worth the trip. 
Mammoth was beautiful! Fresh snow right before we got there, and then sunshine during our entire stay. Here's the whole crew:
And here we are at lunch time:
Julie and I spent an afternoon on cross-country skis.
We are really good at it!
But it's tiring.
I love Christmas in Mammoth. Can we do it again next year, please?!
Here I am falling in the snow at Grand Targhee - a pretty typical sight for me that day, unfortunately, thanks to the rental board (don't fly Frontier!) and to my lack of skills in general. At least the snow was nice and soft!
Olin, Jeff, and I on our snowshoes. It was a beautiful day, but COLD!
Lunch. Jeff is REI poster-boy in charge of brewing the hot cocoa, while Olin and I feast on cheese and salami on "crackers" that actually tasted like cookies. Whoops - not really a good combo. 
The view on the ride home. Not bad, huh? Can't wait to go back someday...!
Maybe next time, I'll look at the course map before signing up.
